Just wow! It is so exciting when you find someone who gets you, gets your horse and gets how to get the best out of you both. This is exactly the experience I had when I took Estrid for our first flatwork lesson at Ingestre stables with Rob Lovatt.

I really want to get Estrid working long and round, powering form behind in a nice even rhythm. Which we sometimes achieve at home but she’s so stressy that anywhere else she’s like a llama.

Rob instantly got us working better within about 30s, the way he explained things to me and simplified exactly what to do made me feel less like I was juggling plates and more like I was just using one simple lever. Now Estrid’s head was like a yo yo, up, down, throw in a bit of sass BUT there was more good relaxed low head with engaged core than there was llama. We were getting some really good supple work between the sass and even better she finished the session relaxed!!!!

I am so excited to work on what we learnt and I can’t wait to go back and keep progressing. I’m going to use dressage tests as a benchmark for our progress, even if I don’t get to competitions just running through them, recording them and comparing, or even doing some online dressage competitions so I get the judges feedback and score. With Estrid hopefully stepping up to 80km this year I don’t want her just to be fit, I need her to be strong and this is a big step in the right direction.

It still boggles my mind that money is such a taboo subject in our society, especially when it is integral to our survival, welfare and enjoyment. It’s not everything, and £100 doesn’t make you happier than £10 but we need to meet our basic needs and if possible have enough left over for fun.

I am naturally a stressy person and I struggle with mental health. In all aspects of life I can counteract this with good preparation and solid systems in place to help me out. My finances play a huge role in how secure and stable I feel so I have a system to make sure that all the horse ‘needs’ are met with minimal day to day brain power from me.

I break this down into fixed monthly bills, which is the easy part, so Livery costs and insurances for horses, trailer and tow vehicle are my only ‘fixed bills’. Then I have fluctuating needs. These are feed, forage, farrier, professionals and fuel. Followed by adventure money, entry fees, lessons and clinics.

I have kept detailed accounts of what I spend in what area for the last 5 years so I have a good idea on what I spend in each category. So at the start of the year I work out how many farrier visits I’ll need, how much feed and haylage, how many rides I plan to enter etc. for the whole year and then divide it by 12 to give me the amount I need to put into my ‘pony fund’ account each month to cover the costs.

I have a little review each month and every quarter to make sure what I’ve set aside is adequate. It just helps me know that what I have in that account is for the horses and what I have in my ‘spend’ account is free to be allocated rather than I need to keep it for a set of shoes or a trip to the feed store.

It was on paper an absolute disaster! If you were told you were merely ‘Sufficient’ or ‘Satisfactory’ with the next level down being ‘insufficient’ it’s safe to say you probably wouldn’t class that as a win. However, despite a score of 59% and a test that looked like a stressed ironing board who couldn’t stay on the track was having a go at Dressage, it was, for me personally, a very successful day.

The whole point of signing up for dressage this winter was so get Estrid out to venue’s in the hope that exposure will reduce her stressiness. The added bonus is it will, in time, improve her balance, suppleness and strength. It is also excellent practice for a mass start, as the warm up arena isn’t dissimilar to a mass start warm up. It has also focused my training and given me deadlines to work towards, which always increases my motivation to train and be consistent.

Estrid was good as gold when I got her off the trailer to walk around the venue, she was then less well behaved for the standing still to tack up process but then an absolute angel in the warm up arena. Her paces were sharp, short and choppy, her nose was in he air and she was tense but she was trying and she didn’t freak out, so a huge win in my book.

For the actual test she was very tense and hollow, she lacked rhythm and suppleness but she went through the motions and we made it through the test without any major dramatics, so another win towards our goals. On the rider side I didn’t forget the test but I did forget to breath and relax and actually ride. I was just steering the ship in the general direction rather than actually properly riding and helping her out, so it was also excellent practice for my nerves and great to reflect back on what I could have done better.

She was particularly sassy when we took her back to the trailer but I’m hoping that this will improve and we may even enter a competition where we can do multiple tests so she gets used to the on/off, in/out that will also reflect vet gated rides.

Such poor performance on paper has given me a good baseline to work towards getting those marks up but most importantly we did it and we will try again until we get it ( I’d really like to score an 8, which is ‘Good’ in dressage terms). I am actively working on letting go of negative thoughts, especially that little voice saying ‘everyone’s watching how bad you are’, dressage is a supreme way to practice this for me, I find it stressful to put this footage out into the world but at the end of the day, I’m doing my best with the skills I have and I’m trying to get better, I’m proud of that. I don’t need to be perfect, I just need to progress.

Goal 1: Finish the year with horses and humans intact. I don’t really have any control of that but it’s a constant hope of mine that I won’t be spending winter rehabbing. In fact only 33% of my 2024 goals are actually controllable, which begs the question am I goal setting wrong and setting myself up for disappointment. The short answer is no, I can put process goals in place to ensure I have done everything possible to achieve what I want and I have to accept that sh*t happens, especially with horses, and without actual external aims I wouldn’t be working towards anything, but it does make me mindful of setting goals within my goals that aren’t as affected be external factors.

So my actual goal 1 is to get Estrid to advanced, which I’m hoping to do with two 80km GER’s so that they also count towards her FEI qualifications. I have pencilled in 13 opportunities to do this from the EGB events schedule that also fit in with my diary so that gives plenty of room for error. If that goes to plan I would like to do her first race ride, whether that be at the National champs, a random ride or a very slim possibility of an end of season 1*.

Tissy has a pretty chilled year and all I want for her is to go to 3 pony parties. I’m going to aim at doing pleasure rides we haven’t done before so we can just enjoy some new routes and views together. I want to continue to keep her as muscled and fit as possible and I want to make the most of the time we have together. She loves getting out and about so I want to make sure I have scheduled the time to do that.

For myself I’d like to capture, review and reflect on my training sessions in more detail. I want to focus on not only what we can do better but also the things that work and highlight them so we keep doing them. I always set a little goal for each time I train but then I frequently forget to think about how it went and make note of that. With Estrid upping her training this year I think it’s going to be super important to monitor her response and I want to do that in a more formal documented manner that I can then look back on. So I have decided to add two columns to my training notebook (Yes, I am the nerd with a training notebook) so I will set a goal for the training, then a column for reviewing the session and another to reflect and set actions. It’s something I did religiously when I was competing at FEI level, but I haven’t gone back to it since 2018 so I think it’s time to bring it back out as it’s also a really nice way of seeing how far you’ve come and appreciating the work put in.

Growing up in Wales I’m no stranger to rain, living up a mountain on the side of a valley meant I also wasn’t a stranger to wind. I’m also famously known to completely forget bad weather when remembering any experiences, a skill or just too many knocks to the head, who knows.

BUT I don’t remember a time where it was so consistently windy with such heavy rain. Despite every other week bringing us a storm with it’s very own name, Estrid, the pony who hates water falling out the sky with a passion, still valiantly went on our yearly Welsh mountain hack to kick off the new season training.

She was a minx to tack up but as soon as I hoped on she had her ears forward and she was keen to go exploring. The wind was deafening and the rain was torrential but she didn’t put a hoof wrong and I couldn’t have been prouder of her behaviour on the trail…..despite her behaviour at the yard making me despair that she may never chill out!

I never regret a ride, even in this kind of weather, it almost feels more adventurous and like we’re conquering something. That said I would love a cold crisp sunny winter hack soon please!

Blimey, 2023 has been a whirlwind and a mixed bag. When I look back at my 2023 Goals, on paper we have achieved everything we set out to do. I wanted to do x3 pleasure rides on Tissy and complete Estrid’s Novice qualifications, both a big fat tick!

In reality 2024 had some pretty high highs but was a mentally tough year for me. There is no concrete reason why I struggled with my mental health this year, nothing really big and bad happened, logically I had so much to be grateful for but my head really struggled to keep above the water. But, with support, I’ve come out the other side and looking back on 2023 I have grown and learnt so much.

We said goodbye to Roo at the start of Spring, financially a decision that needed to be made but he found a wonderful home and I am very grateful that I got the chance to know him and take him through his Novice qualifications.

I jumped out of my comfort zone professionally taking a role as medical lead for a few weeks in Las Vegas at the Air Force trials and Dan took excellent care of the horses while I was away.

I had been thinking about switching to a trailer and tow vehicle for a while to cut down the cost of paying for a lorry and a car but then the lorry decided to need a new engine the morning of Estrid’s first 40km, so we never made it to the ride and the lorry went to the garage. I decided to repair the lorry and buy a tow vehicle, which so far has been a great decision.

We went on a horsey holiday and Estrid did her first cross country jumps and gallop on the beach. Estrid then made it to all her planned rides and despite concerns over making the final heart rate we passed every one and she upgraded to Open by the summer. I toyed with an end of season 80km but skin issues put a stop to riding altogether for August and September so she just had her yearly holiday a bit earlier than planned.

Tissy and I went to some great pleasure rides and the icing on the cake of 2023 was getting to go to Man V Horse and coming over the finish line in our first ever racing finish, we still didn’t beat man despite our best efforts though.

We’ve branched out into other horsey activities with groundwork clinics, cross country hire, dressage and jumping practice and actually these have been the most fun I’ve had with my horses in a long time. My passion and my main focus will be Endurance for years to come I’m sure but I do also want to do more of this stuff, not put all my eggs in the endurance goals basket and just enjoy my time trying new things and having different experiences.

It was possibly a little optimistic after one show jumping lesson to go out and hire a show jumping arena but in the name of getting Estrid to as many different experiences as possible over winter I found myself in the middle of a lovely arena filled with coloured poles that were off the floor!!

Now this wasn’t my plan A, plan A was to be at a dressage competition but it got cancelled, again. Plan A was to do flatwork and dressage until February and then try some jumping clinics and clear round competitions in March. I wanted a good flatwork foundation and to get our basics up to scratch before leaving the ground.

But, with no dressage to attend and a slot available at a jumping arena only 10mins drive from the yard I thought, f**k it lets just go. I picked a handful of jumps to put down to 40cm (that’s basically a raised pole right) and thought we’d start with poles and then do a few jumps if she was happy.

Estrid actually loved it and she jumped some of them really well. There’s lots not to like about our session, my position, her frame, some of my set ups were far from ideal for her to jump straight, however, there’s also lots to like, we enjoyed ourselves, she focused, it was a great workout (she was super sweaty) and it’s another positive experience under her belt.

I’m actually now very excited to go to some jumping clinics and get some lessons as I think it might be something we could do more regularly, but I will focus a little more on our flatwork before we do too many take-offs.

Of course Estrid would choose the only day of the year that I had no chance of getting her off the yard to need a vet. Let me set the scene…I was filming a nice little walk to the yard and feed the ponies in the snow vlog. I had to walk to the yard due to snow making the lane inaccessible, when it snows or is very icy I always give my horses a very sloppy warm mash to ensure they are hydrated and to replace the forage they are missing due to lack of grass. They have a small portion of this mash in their feed everyday so it’s not new to them when they need extra.

This was the second time I had ventured to the yard that day as I had been up early to put out some haylage once I realised it had snowed. Estrid starts to eat her mash and then starts spitting it out….very unlike her, we actually laughed at her. Our laughter soon turned to ‘is she ok’, ‘something isn’t right’ as she proceeded to wretch/cough whilst wandering around us…not to panic, I’ve seen choke before, they usually resolve without input, we just have to wait it out. Her neck has gone solid and she’s obviously uncomfortable but she’s breathing and there’s nothing coming out her nose.

10minutes later she starts staggering around, pawing the ground, convulsing on her feet…..maybe it’s not choke, maybe it’s colic? There is too much snow to get her in the trailer and take her to the vet hospital so do I call the vet or do I wait? My logical brain says wait, I’ve witnessed two poops in the 10mins I thought she was choking for, and there are more signs for choke than colic, don’t panic.

Then she staggers and lies down, but she get’s straight back up, she’s still breathing even if she doesn’t look comfortable, she does the same a second time but less controlled, she then collapses like a ton of bricks head and everything to the ground, lets out a loud short breath and then doesn’t breath again for about 25s, but it felt like 15mins. Ok, now I’m out of my depth, I don’t know what this is and I call the vet. We get Estrid up and take her down to the yard.

The poor vet has to park up at the nearest accessible road and walk down the steep hill to the yard. I run up to meet her and help carry her stuff, while Dan takes Estrid to the stable, which we’ve just borrowed another liveries bedding to make a massive shavings bed incase she collapses again.

We get there and although distressed Estrid appears to be absolutely fine!!!!! Normal vitals, lots of stress poops because she doesn’t like being in the stable and swallowing fine. I have never been more relieved/mildly irritated that I made a vet come out in this weather and hike to the yard for her to not even show a tiny symptom.

Because Estrid was winding herself up so much and we discussed that it was most likely choke and Estrid was just being particularly dramatic about it we decided to put her back out in the field, the vet stayed and watched her for a while and Estrid just carried on about her day. I even pointed out to the vet the 3 snow angels Estrid had made in the field when she went down, just to reassure her I wasn’t nuts!

When she fell he 3rd time I genuinely thought she was going to die, and I’m not a panicky dramatic person, especially when it comes to anything medical. What we can now establish is that Estrid could be up for an Oscar for that performance!

I had an amazing time at my first ever pole clinic with Estrid, I can’t wait to get back out and about doing similar things as it was so enjoyable. Estrid really surprised me with her enthusiasm over the poles.

Thank you to the Heart of England EGB group for organising it and Kingswood equestrian for hosting. Guy was great with Estrid, knowing that this was her first time and we couldn’t have had two better horses in our group as they were both very experienced and very relaxed, so didn’t react while Estrid was spooking dramatically at her shadow!

She managed to complete all the drills, even if it wasn’t very refined and I was so proud of her attitude to the whole outing.

After a summer off I was very excited to take Estrid to an Endurance training ride about an hour away. The Endurance GB dates for rides didn’t fit in with any of my free weekends so I decided to go with Sport Endurance. We had 16km planned and our main aim was just to get her used to going out and about again.

She has definitely regressed in the relaxed at venues department, the shakes and sweats are back, she whinnies at anything that moves, I can physically hear her heart beat and her eyes are out on stalks BUT on the plus side she was still very easy to tack up and an absolute joy out on course, she did settle a teeny tiny bit at the end too.

The course was very pretty and quite urban but they had a few issues with marking and then the route being obstructed, so although thanks to my map reading skills I was never actually lost, I couldn’t find an alternative route to continue the correct course, so I doubled back and did a loop of bridleway around the park that was showing on my GPS instead. I still got 16km in and Estrid was a star, being passed, passing, leaving horses, meeting umbrellas, dogs and pushchairs, she really is lovely to ride.

I will try and get her out in the trailer as much as possible to combat those venue nerves, it’s not until we’re ontop of them will I be confident to do a vet gated ride with her, so fingers crossed for a productive off-season.